Self-praise and cabinets…what more do you want?

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Practice wall cabinet we built for laundry room. Now to build the real thing for the kitchen ~Joe~

For the first time in my collegiate career I’m a straight A student. Feels pretty good, I have to admit. Too bad all the C’s, D’s, and F’s on my transcript are still there. That blight will never vanish. I was such a foolish, foolish little man.

What is done can’t be undone so I guess I’ll move forward. Two weeks until Summer I kicks off, and with it the last class I will ever have to take. I had to take out another emergency loan to cover my tuition, but that’s only a very short-term loan. As in 45 days to repay.

My $500 scholarship has been posted, so yay! Maybe if I can come up with the other portion of my tuition I can just cancel the loan and not worry about the interest. Of course I still have to pay back my student loans, all $5500, but that’s not a huge amount. A real job, however, would be nice, and necessary.

But changing the subject to something completely different, I’m heading over to my brother’s shop to help finish my mother’s kitchen cabinets. If you’ve been following me for a while – and why haven’t you? – you will know about the major remodel we have been undertaking for the past year.

So we are now working on the kitchen. We’ve priced pre-fabricated cabinets at Lowe’s, had a friend quote us a price on custom-made cabinetry, but in the end we decided to build our own. Yeah, that’s always a great plan. Especially since we’ve never done so before.

I have to say, however, that my brothers have done a fantastic job so far. It’s just slow going since we’re figuring it out as we go. Right now most of the base cabinets are built, minus the face and doors. All we lack is two corner cabinets. Once we figure our how to do them, we’ll cut out the pieces, assemble, and wait for the glue to dry. Then we’ll start on the face. Next, wall cabinets.

Yes, it would have been easier to buy prefab from somewhere else, but this way we are using quality material, not cheap, flimsy particle board; we  can ensure that the cabinets are tailored for the kitchen, and it gives us an excuse to buy tools and risk dismemberment. It’s a win-win!

In conclusion, straight A’s self-congratulating, received scholarship bragging, pathetically begging in a subtle fashion for more financing for my tuition, and building cabinets. Just for fun, try counting the number of times I said cabinets and report back to me. Have a great day and weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday!

There ain’t no cure for the editing blues…

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me self copyediting

me self copyediting (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Not my photo, but too funny not to put on here ~Joe~

I started on my rewrites again last night. Yeah, I didn’t get far. I made the unfortunate mistake of reading my opening chapter. Not good. I’ll need to do third round on my story. Can’t wait!

So my plan is to actually print the damned thing out, all 225+ pages. I will proofread and edit the manuscript furiously and viciously until I’m able to get something that’s actually decent and readable. Stupid grammar class. See what happens when you get educated? Damn it all to hades!

Oh well. I only have one shot to perfect it, although perfection is an unattainable ideal to begin with, so I have to get it right and hope enough people agree with me. If I could be honest, as frustrating as it is, I do get a charge out of it. I just need to focus and get busy with it again. I’m losing precious time. If I don’t concentrate, I won’t meet my personal goal of publishing it this year (well, if I go with the self-publishing route).

I guess I need to stop beating myself up. Truly all I need to do is polish up some of my language, check for passive voice and sentence fragments – I have too many of these – and delete awkward phrases. What I need is a manuscript doctor, but then he may say it’s D.O.A. and that I should put it down.

So for now I’ll finish this rewrite before starting the editing process. Maybe I’ll have more luck printing it out and actually having a hard copy in my hands. Something about the tactile feeling of a book in my hands, and a nice comfy red pen and yellow highlighter, may make it better.

And also a margarita. Alcohol makes everything better.

 

Telling you about my first time

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all's well that inks well

all’s well that inks well (Photo credit: b1gw1ght)

Today starts the first week of my break between classes. I have three weeks to do nothing resembling anything academic. Just me and my computer, television, and maybe a few good books. As soon as my new book arrives, I’ll begin to read it for next month’s book review.

Of course I’m going crazy, obsessing over what my grades will ultimately be. So far it appears as though I’m going to pull straight A’s, but it’s not definitive. As soon as I know I’ll drive you crazy with my pathetic display of self-congratulatory behavior. I’m stretching as we speak to give myself a hearty and well-deserved pat on the back. I don’t want to pull anything as I contort myself awkwardly.

But while I wait, I did something last night that I’ve been toying with for a long time, but finally worked up the nerve to do; I submitted a short story for publication. To be honest, I think this rates higher on my “Hurray!” scale than my grades so. I finally did it!

Okay, I know this doesn’t seem like too big a deal. People submit short stories, essays, and novels everyday. What is a big deal, at least for me, is that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I sent my first submission. Now all I have to do is wait the appropriate amount of time to receive my first rejection.

Hey! Think positive! Yeah I can practically hear you screaming at your computer screens. I am thinking positive. I’m thinking I’m going to hear a response. Joking aside, although I really do hope they decide to publish it for me, I’m okay if they pass on my piece. I think I expanded my boundaries just by filling out the form and sending my story “Letting Go” to Agni Online. Everyone has to start somewhere and this is my start. And if they do reject it, I’ll send it to another site. Try, try again, as they say.

I’m also working on a short creative nonfiction essay that I plan to submit to Hippocampus Magazine. My essay chronicles my struggle with depression after the turmoil of my divorce up to leaving my job and spending a year unemployed. It’s set on my first day back to school, thirteen years after I dropped out. It’s nowhere near completed, and I’ll probably obsess for a few weeks before I submit it, but we’ll see where it takes me.

And finally, I still have to finish my rewrite of my novel. Once I’m done, I can evaluate where I am there. I’ll probably have to do another rewrite (and then another) before I’m satisfied letting this one out into the world. As you can tell, I plan to spend a good part of my time off writing. I let my classes get in the way of writing so I have a lot of time to make up. Then my last class will start next month and I may temporarily lose track of writing again, and that’s okay. By July I should be done and then I’ll be able to move forward in my life.

Hopefully I’ll also have a published story to go along with my sheepskin. I hope, I hope, I hope!

I’m really not crazy

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13478_10201104734646758_532063516_nThe semester is over, and although I’m happy for it, I’m experiencing a bit of an anti-climax. Yesterday evening, as I laid in bed, I realized that I don’t have to worry about reading assignments or writing essays. There are no more exams to fret over. I am done and I can relax. So why am I wondering what I’m supposed to do now?

For starters, I’m obsessing over my grades. I know the instructors need time to grade all our exams, average our grades, post them and turn them in to the university. I still want them right now. Like right now right now. I’m a little impatient. Honestly can these learned people procrastinate even more? What’s the hold up people?

So as I wait, I decided, just for fun, to look up my transcript and what I found depressed me. It’s painfully obvious what classes I liked and which ones I despised. I see all my business courses, marketing, accounting, management, and I found those classes to be so boring. I hated them so I didn’t try, ergo I did poorly. Makes you wonder how I became a retail manager.

Oh yeah, I failed at that, too. Strangely enough, I made a B on my business law class. Perhaps I could have become a lawyer, but nah. Law school would probably have been a bad fit as well.

I also did poorly in my literature class. Ouch! And I want to be a writer now? Am I mental? Maybe. I diagnosed myself in every psychology class this past semester. But aside from my General Anxiety Disorder/Panic Disorder w/o agoraphobia/Major Depressive Disorder w/o psychosis/Avoidant Personality Disorder, I’m not crazy. I steered clear of schizoid and schizotypal disorders by a hair’s breadth. See? I’m really not that crazy!

The more I look at my transcript the more depressed I get. I wasted so much time focusing on what was clearly the wrong track. Sometimes a tenacious determination can be detrimental. My college career is Exhibit A. Too bad I labored under the delusion that I was going to be in music/business. Too bad I didn’t realize that I should have focused on writing/English, but then again, I didn’t realize that I really wanted to write until a year and a half ago.

So many what if’s and if only’s that in the end don’t matter. I can’t change the past, I can only use what I’ve learned from my past to affect the future. That’s the good thing about mistakes. They can be opportunities for improvement and self-growth. I can live with that. Not that I have a choice.

So all I need now are my final grades. Honestly, get it together guys!

Final finals are finally over

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West Texas A&M University

West Texas A&M University (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Officially Spring 2013 is a wrap. Good job everyone, hit the showers and bask in the yummy afterglow of a job well done. Also, if anyone knows a good massage therapist, that would be great.

Yesterday, in between exams, I participated in a study group for my Grammar class and I think it paid off. I feel very good about the class. I currently have an 89 average but I think my exam will raise it to an A. The hard part of the exam was diagramming sentences, but even there I feel confident that I did well. It took me an hour to diagram the ten sentences, but I think I aced it. I hope.

As for my last exam, it took a strange form. We had to submit a portfolio of three to four essays, plus a cover sheet, for a total of 15-30 pages. I submitted four essays with 24 pages. Our exam consisted of researching avenues where we could submit our essays, turning in any pertinent information about the venue. In class we needed to share our findings as well as read an essay that the venue published. I chose Hippocampus Magazine as my publishing route and the essay I chose to share was The Rabbit Hole by Suzanne Farrell Smith.

So now I wait on my instructor’s leisure. I’ll have to wait for Dr. Walls to grade my Grammar exam, as well as all the other student’s exams, plus she’s also my Creative Writing instructor so she has all those portfolios to read and grade. I don’t envy her one bit, especially this weekend. Brutal.

I’m beginning my 3 week hiatus from school. I go back at the beginning of June to finish my final class. I can’t wait! Not for it to start, per se, but I’m ready to be done. To graduate. The only issue now is financing my summer session. I already mentioned yesterday that I’m not eligible for aid since I’m only taking 4 hours (the number I need to graduate) and the minimum number of hours they will finance is 6.

I talked with the scholarship office and what they told me left me feeling upset and dejected. First criteria  is that students must maintain a 3.3 cumulitive GPA. Mine is less than stellar at the moment. I’m ashamed to admit that I did not take care of business over a decade ago. So I’m left to finance my last class on my own.

Or am I?

When I met with the scholarship office, hat in hand as the youngsters say, I told them my situation and the advisor told me to go ahead and apply and she’d talk to the director. I had no real hope but I planned on filling out the paperwork, just in case.

This afternoon I received an email stating that they we awarding me a scholarship, pending my acceptance, me writing the office a thank you letter, and of course filling out my application. I will admit that I was shocked and a little overcome with emotions, positive emotions. I did not expect it, I did not dare hope for it, but the WTAMU scholarship office came through, even though I am ill-deserving of the honor. I am eternally grateful.

It won’t finance my whole bill, but it’s significant enough that I know I will have the session paid for. It now falls to me to do my part, to pass my final classes so that I can walk the stage and finally earn my long sought degree. Took me nineteen years to get to this point, four more months will be over in a flash.

But you know, now that this semester is over, I have to admit that I am a little saddened. I’m going to miss those guys in my classes, especially the ones that talked to me. I wonder if any of them will remember me. Whatever their names are.

 

Finals: Day 1

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Buffalo wall art in the JBK at West Texas A&M University - Photo by Amy Ebert

Buffalo wall art in the JBK at West Texas A&M University – Photo by Amy Ebert

My first day of finals is now over. Tally: two down, two to go. I took my Psychology finals at 8:00 this morning. I wasn’t as prepared as I would have liked, but I think I at least scraped a B on the exam, but I won’t be sure until my grades are posted. Dr. A also gave back our projects that we turned in last week, and I swore I failed. I received a 92. I hit all the requirements. The only thing lacking was presentation. If I would have put it into a brochure format I think I would have made a 100. Still, I’m pleased with what I got. I’m hoping to pull out an A for the semester.

My next exam, in Geology, wouldn’t take place until 6 that evening, and with home an hour away, I stayed on campus the entire day. I visited with an old mentor/friend that I’ve known since I was only fifteen. I also tried to take care of business at the Financial Aid office. I wanted to make sure my summer session would be taken care of. It won’t be.

I guess I need a minimum of six hours before I’m eligible for any sort of aid, and I only need four hours to graduate. In addition, I only have four more hours of eligibility left on my financial aid. So basically, I’m screwed, and unless I can secure funding before next week, I may not graduate. Thank you Idiots on Capitol Hill!

I’ll find a way to get the money, it’s just a matter of the hassle I’ll have to endure, not to mention back alley negotiations. But I’m so close to the end, and to be locked out of aid due to a technicality is super annoying. I’ll find a way.

Also spent a few hours working on my final drafts of my essay portfolio before heading for a study group for my Grammar exam. It was super beneficial, I just hope it translates to a very good grade on my final exam.

Then I took my exam in Geology. I’m not to confident about this one. Unless I just completely blew it, I’ll manage an A here as well. Ms. Rosa said she’d try to post our grades tonight. That’s a very quick turnaround, but I’m ready. I just checked but it’s still not up. Maybe sometime before midnight.

Still not up so I’m moving on.

I have a few last-minute things to do for my Creative Writing class. I need to do a little research, but together some info and write a paper on it and create a presentation which will act as my final exam. I also have to finalize my essays. I’ve been harping on my essays all semester so I should be done by now, but no. I’m way to self-critical about my writing. It’s a wonder that I’m able to post this here!

So for now I bid you good night. I’ll probably be up late finishing my last-minute studying and whatnot. I’ll whine about tomorrow’s exam misadventures tomorrow evening some time. For now I study. Have I mentioned that I’m exhausted?

An Abridged Amy Adventure

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525253_10201104735806787_1187173045_nFinals begin tomorrow, at least they do for me. I can’t wait to be done with this semester. I’ve enjoyed my time in class and I’ve also enjoyed meeting and talking to new people, but now it’s come to its end. I should probably be studying.

So instead of waxing lyrical about my semester, I can do that later this week, I thought I’d ramble on about nonsense for a few minutes. Here I am on the Caprock, overlooking Palo Duro Canyon. I’ve been going to class less than twenty minutes away from here and I just now made it out when my friend Amy came up for the weekend.

Palo Duro is one of my favorite places to go. It’s a great place to drive, hike, ride mountain bikes, or go horseback riding. In the summer there’s a play that is performed in amphitheater the called TEXAS. I haven’t been to it in several years. Maybe I’ll go again his summer, but who knows.

We drove down to the bottom and at one of the river crossings, River Crossing #4 to be exact, we got out to walk around and snap some photos, which we did. Unfortunately in our haste, someone locked their keys in their vehicle. We were stuck for over an hour before we had the pleasure of spending $70 to get back into the car. Awesome!

428687_10201104742366951_2064760403_nIt gets better. While Amy was on her phone – reception at the bottom of a hole in the ground is horrendous by-the-way – we saw a Texas DPS Trooper drive by. Amy asked me to flag him down, which I did. Bastard smiled, waved, and continued driving. It’s a good thing we weren’t dying, but it almost felt like it. We had no water. Our water bottles were safely in the CAR!!!

Once we were able to get in we drove a bit more, snapped a few more pics, but didn’t have time to visit the caves, much less hike to the Lighthouse. We still had fun. We just didn’t have time to do everything we would have liked. Amy still had a seven-hour drive ahead of her. I only had a 45-minute drive.

We had a good time, despite our being locked out of the freaking car. Thankfully we ate prior to going to the canyon so we were well-fed. It was a nice change of pace. No school, no work, just a couple of friends sitting miserably by the side of the road while people flaunted their A/C and iced beverages as we baked. Can’t wait to go back!

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Photos were by Joe Hinojosa (ME!!!) and Amy Ebert.