I haven’t been writing much lately. Actually, I haven’t been writing at all. I don’t know what it means, or if it presages a surrender of my hope of becoming published. I hope not. I’ve put in too much time and effort working towards this goal, but at the moment I’m distracted by the realities of life. Is that a valid excuse?
There are stories in my head that I need to tell. I cannot deny it, it’s a fact of my being, that I’m always thinking, that I’m always inventing stories when I’m alone, coming up with plots and scenarios, dreaming of what I would like to say, yearning for others to enjoy what I have come up with.
Lately I’ve been off my rhythm. I haven’t set aside time to sit and daydream or brainstorm. I haven’t sat at my computer with the sole goal of committing the stories in my head to paper, or I guess to a computer file. It’s a shame because that’s what I want, what I need, but as I said before, I’m dealing with life issues, not at all live threatening or serious, but deserving of my attention. It’s where I need to be, and where my energies are focused.
I hope to get back to writing soon, and honestly, I have been writing, just nothing I care to share at the moment. I’m still planning on participating in NaNoWriMo again for the fifth time come November. I still want to rewrite Son of the Father, which was my first NaNo novel. I have others I want to rewrite, not because they are great works en potencia, but because they mean something to me, because I believe they have a message I want to share.
But for now I’m engaged in a trial of a sort, a moment of personal growth that is impacting me emotionally and spiritually. How I’ll come out is anyone’s guess, but it’s a journey I need to take, a journey we all have to take in one form or another, at some point in our lives. This is my time.
Sometimes you have to give yourself the space you need to live outside your book.
But for what it’s worth, when I’m having troubles like this, I find that I’m much more successful in preventing it from turning into a long-term hiatus from writing if I give myself a small, achievable goal everyday. I make sure it’s something I can accomplish in 10 minutes, and for me, that’s usually a goal of writing 200 words on whatever I feel like that day. When I was struggling with a bout of deep depression, I made a deal with myself that I could stop after 50 words if I needed to.
But whatever you do, make sure you’re taking care of yourself, first. Your mental health has to come first. The book will still be there when you come back to it. It needs you to take care of yourself and survive so that you’ll be around long enough to write it. 🙂
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These cycles happenb. While you are not writing other things are going on in your brain that will eventually drive a new idea and re-motivate you. It’s normal – at least for me. Heh.
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Interesting…. This entry has gotten me into deep thought.