Author Archives: Joe Hinojosa

Unknown's avatar

About Joe Hinojosa

Official account of a writer in potentia. Blogger, student, bibliophile and novice book reviewer.

Short Story: In love with Bella

Posted on by
3

He knew it was pointless to check, but Guy couldn’t help himself. It seemed that all power to resist had been stripped from him, and all he could do was submit to an impulse that robbed him all hope of joy from his life.

Guy opened up his laptop, logged back into his Facebook, and searched for her. Bella was unlike all the other girls he had known in his life, all the girls that he ever dated. Not that those girls weren’t beautiful in their own way, but Bella was different, special in some undefinable way. She had a way of making him smile, of coaxing his better nature out of him. She also exposed the worst in him as well.

Her profile came up, and he sighed as he caressed her photo on the screen, wishing it was her face instead of the cold pixels in front of him. Guy wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips, to hold her against him, to feel her warmth against his skin. All he wanted was for Bella to love him as much as he loved her.

As if! She barely registered his existence, unless she needed something from him. Twenty years removed from the hell that consumed him in high school, and somehow she transported him back to those days. The same feelings on inadequacy, of being duped to do what ever she needed on the thin, unlikely chance that she might grace him with her presence.

He berated himself, of course, knowing that he had no chance in hell of securing even a lunch date. He wasn’t her type. She preferred tall and handsome men, athletic with an alpha personality. Guy was short and insecure, not ugly per se, but just not classically attractive. He was average to the point of being invisible.

“I love you,” he scoffed at the unhearing screen, lamenting his bad luck in having met her. No hope existed but he remained helplessly enthralled by her grace and her poise. He loved the way she smiled, and the way her eyes lit up when ever she saw him. Then again, she lit up when ever she got her way, and she knew how to make him do anything she needed.

Cursing his weakness, he closed his laptop as his cell phone rang. With a glance, he saw that Helena was calling, another one of his co-workers. “Hey,” he answered unenthusiastically. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” came the nervous response. “I was just wondering, you know if you’re not busy, if-you’d-like-to-join-us-at-the-movies,” Helena sped through the invite. “I mean, not like a date, really. Just some of us from work are going, and I thought maybe you’d like to come.”

“I don’t know,” Guy said as he rubbed his temple. “I’m kind of tired.”

“I understand,” Helena replied, trying not to sound disappointed. “Bella’s not going to be there, so I didn’t think you would go. I just hoped you’d come with me, well I mean us, any ways, but it’s cool. I – I guess I’ll see you at work?”

“Yeah, probably.” Guy set the phone down, not giving Helena another opportunity to say anything. She was cute in her own way, and probably a better match for him, but she was no Bella, and she probably wouldn’t give him the time of day. She deserved better than him anyhow.

A few minutes later his phone rang again. Praying that it wasn’t Helena again, he checked and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Bella’s name on the screen. “Hello?”

“Um, hey Guy!” Bella said in the overly cheery voice she used when she wanted something from him. “You busy tonight?”

“What? Me?” He laughed. “Nah. I’m just chilling at home. What you need?”

“I need a big favor.”

“Anything!”

“Mark from Electronics just called and asked me out at the last minute. I was hoping you could watch my son for a few hours. We’re just going to have a few drinks, maybe grab a bite to eat. We shouldn’t be out too late. I have to work in the morning.”

“Oh, I suppose,” he agreed, the small bubble of hope that had risen in his chest bursting. He chided himself for even entertaining the illusion that she had called for anything more than that.

“You’re a doll! I’ll drop him off in about an hour. I totally owe you. I haven’t forgotten that we’re supposed to grab drinks after work. You did ask and I said yes. Remember?”

“Oh, I remember. Last fucking year,” he added quietly. Bella got off the phone, leaving him to feel more like floor mat than a man. If only he had taken Helena’s offer to go to he movie, but no. It didn’t matter anyway. Bella owned him and they both knew it. He cursed himself for being a pushover but what could he do? He was in love.

Short Stories

Next story –  Segovia’s Revenge
Previous story – Valentine’s Day Proposal

The maturing of Howard Wolowitz

Posted on by
2

The last episode of The Big Bang Theory reminded me of something that I had grown to believe as of late. If you haven’t watched it, this is your warning that there will be spoilers ahead. With that out-of-the-way, let me proceed.

At the end of the episode, Howard Wolowitz, played by Simon Helberg, received a call informing him that his mother had died in her sleep. Carol Ann Susi, the actress who voiced the unseen Mrs. Wolowitz, Howard’s mother, passed away from cancer in November. Instead of employing some gimmicky storytelling and having her move away, which would have been contrary to what we know of her, or having another actress come in, the writers chose to kill her off of the show.

Not that my opinion counts for much, but I believe it was the best course of action. Carol Ann brought a character to life, one who had absolutely no screen time, yet somehow managed to steal the scene. She was obnoxious and overbearing, intimidating and prone to employing guilt-trips to keep Howard from leaving. I doubt anyone could have matched her skill to bring the unseen mother to life. I’m glad we will never have to see anyone try and fail.

Now comes my confession. For the past year, I had begun to wonder if the character should be written off the show. Let me say that the thought is not because I thought the Mrs. Wolowitz to be unfunny, rather I thought Howard needed something catastrophic to happen to motivate some character growth.

Out of all the main cast, Howard was the one I hated the most in the beginning. He was crass and pushed the line between funny and creepy. He came across as desperate and perverted, a sad case of a loser with no hope of ever finding a woman, that is until Bernadette came along.

However, over the course of the past few seasons,  Howard did grow, probably more than all the rest of the characters on the show. Yet even so, he was stuck between being a man and a child, a son being held hostage, never really embracing what it meant to be a husband.

I wondered if losing his mother would fuel a maturing of the character, letting go of the overbearing mother that he never was able to leave. He had become totally dependent on her, much to Bernadette’s annoyance. She accepted it for the time being, but playing the second woman in her husband’s life certainly rankled and I have to ask how long would someone like her actually tolerate being treated that way?

So I believed Mrs. Wolowitz should have to die at some point. The only other character to have lost a parent is Sheldon, and that happened sometime prior to the start of the series. This is the audience’s first time to witness how this group will rally around their friend, and how Howard will struggle to grasp what it means to lose this mother.

Unlike many fans of the show, I do not lament that the original premise of the show has changed. Had it not, I doubt the show would still be watchable. Life is about growth, and in storytelling, character development is integral in keeping the audience hooked. Without it, the story lines become stale, and there is limited stories to be told. So, as people in real life change, so too must a fictional cast of characters.

So for Sheldon to be the one to offer Howard words of comfort, says a lot about how much he has grown. For Howard to let Sheldon say his piece speaks to his evolving maturity. These are not static one-dimensional characters, but complex and ever-changing people, learning and grappling with the same hardships we deal with in real life.

I shed a few tears when Howard announced that his mother had died, and I sobbed quietly as they all tried to come to terms with the news. As much as I thought I wanted to see Howard grow, I admit that I will miss hearing Carol Ann’s screeching voice. I thought I was ready for it to happen, but now that it has, I realize that I’m not quite ready for her to have left. Her passing leaves a hole in the show, one that will never be filled, and that’s the way it should be.

My shell

Posted on by
2

introvert1All my life I’ve heard from countless people who I just need to come out of my shell. As if I really have a choice. It’s a strange fate to become a prisoner within your own mind whenever you find yourself surrounded by people you don’t know. I’ve learned to cope at work by scripting opening lines to say to customers. Nothing elaborate or witty, just a simple Can I help you? – or – Is there anything I can help you find? is enough to oven some form of dialogue.

But apart from that, it’s not a true conversation, at least on my part. I listen and offer my advice, suggesting the best option for their price range. Sometimes they heed my advice, other times they get angry because what they want to do is so plain stupid that I just can’t say that it’ll work, and no amount of logic will get it into their head that it won’t work. And when it fails, they do come back angry. Those people just need to die.

But I’m going off on a related tangent. This is about how I relate to people. I only open up to people I like, to people I trust. I can’t fake it. I can’t just talk like some people can. I don’t work that way. Yes, there are a few people who I’m drawn towards, that somehow get me to drop my barriers without me even realizing it’s happening, but that’s rare. Usually, I clam up, answer in short, clipped phrases, and don’t bother to elaborate. It’s just the way it is, though most people are incapable of grasping that one simple truth.

What I get so often, most especially from management, is that I need to come out of my shell. I’ve learned not to take it personally. It’s not their fault they have no grasp of psychology, that people are inherently different, and that my introversion is not a pathological condition that needs to be cured. My social anxiety is another story, but I really don’t want to delve into that bag. We’ll be here for months deciphering that mess!

Instead of appreciating what I do, and I believe I contribute a lot, I’m penalized because I’m not a gregarious personality. I’m naturally laconic, but if they’d bother to take to the time, they’d realize the depth of who I am. They’d come to discover that I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, oft-times self-deprecating, but always ready for a laugh. They’d learn that I have ideas and dreams, and yes, that I’m a real boy!

But no. They, as most people, don’t value me, and others like me, for who I am, for who we are. We’ve become invisible in today’s society. If we’re not putting ourselves out there, then we might as well give up. There’s no point trying because we’re not out there hamming it up with the people who matter.

If anyone cares to get to know me, I’ve put myself out there every time I publish another blog. I can also be found, to some degree, in the short stories I write. I write what I feel, what I know, what I fear. This is how I am, a writer trying to forge a meaning full connection to a readership that may or may not care, and that’s okay. I’m going to write regardless of how many people read what I write. I’ll treasure those who do, especially you who take the time to open a dialogue with me. Truly, all I know to say is thank you!

What gets me is being told to come out of my shell. I don’t think I should have to justify myself. I don’t think I should defend myself. There comes a point when it becomes less of a suggestion and turns into another case of bullying. No, I’m not saying that I’m a helpless victim. I’m not. What I am saying is that those who tell me that are inconsiderate and tactless, and quite frankly do me more harm than good. Every time they say that all I hear is that I’m not good enough being who I am. After a certain point, it’s easy to despair and stop caring.

But that’s who I am, and screw you if that’s not good enough. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do, after I watch the new episode of The Big Bang Theory. It makes me laugh, and I love to laugh, but you’d already know that, if you knew me.

Redirecting my focus

Posted on by
2

I just wrote and posted my last book review. They have been an experience to do, but now I feel that the time is right to move away from that and start to focus more on my own writing. I don’t plan to drop it all together, but I have no immediate plans to continue doing so as I have been, taking  requests and scheduling them out months in advance. For now, I’ll only review a book if I want to. Simple as that.

As for my WIP, I’m not as far along as I would like to be. I’ve spent the whole past week feeling rather crappy. Turns out the cold I had was really strep throat, and I’m having a heck of a time getting over it, even with the antibiotics. At least I’m seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I can breath again and hopefully I’ll have my voice back to normal in the next couple of days.

So for now, I’m keeping my goal of being done with my rewrites by the end of the month, though I’m starting to feel that’s overly-optimistic, especially considering the week I’ve spent moaning in bed, refusing to do any significant work. Forget that. I want to be done and get someone working on proofreading my book. I really want to have this out this year.

Book Review: The Protected

Posted on by
2

protectedWhen I first decided to tackle this review, I’ll admit to some apprehension. Most of the books I’ve reviewed have been fantasy, though a couple of erotica books worked their way into the mix. This is the first time that I chose a Christian novel to read and I came into it with my own prejudices and misconceptions against the genre in general. Most of the books I personally like involve the clergy, Morris West and his novels revolving around the papacy come to mind, but they are hardly Christian novels.

So I began to read and I tried find an angle of attack. How should I rate it? Do I compare it to some other books I’ve read? Do I rate it according to my own prejudices? All my fears and questions were quickly rendered mute by the novelist. I’ll be honest as I always am, and present as fair an assessment as my abilities allow.

The Protected is the debut novel from Brooke-Lauren Montgomery. I met Brooke a couple of years ago, in the fairness of complete disclosure, when I went back to finish up my college degree. We took two classes together, Advanced Grammar and Creative Writing: Nonfiction. I remember her stating that she had a book coming out and when I ran into her a few months ago, I asked her and I offered her to review the book. I’m breaking my own rule of reviewing the works of people I know, but I don’t really know her, so I guess I’m good.

The Protected follows the journey of Maryanne Gilmon, a college student who’s involved with a handsome and charismatic young man named Darren. Not much is known about Darren, but he’s a risk-taker and seems to have ample financial resources.The story is a progression from being away from God to her discovering and finally accepting God’s grace.

In her way are the usual temptations of the world, but none more persistent and aggressive as her boyfriend. An her side is the supernatural intervention of a young man she knows simply as Nememiah, a man who’s only the physical incarnation of her own guardian angel.

The more she tries to grow closer to God, the more Darren stands in her way, becoming a possessive and abusive, both mentally and emotionally. Darren is the embodiment of that which seeks to strip humanity away from the Lord, using whatever is at his disposal to do so. He threatens and sweet talks Maryanne, trying to lead her down a darker path, promising to stop at nothing, even destroying all her loved ones, in his mission to win her over. Is Maryanne’s new found faith strong enough to endure the trial she’s facing?

Brooke wrote a powerful book with serious themes. This isn’t the struggle of growing up in a world full of temptations but rather a book with serious consequences, of fighting against demonic powers in order to find salvation. At stake is either an eternity of grace and love, or eternal damnation.

I found myself being drawn into the story in spite of my reservations. I’m not an evangelical, I’m very private with my faith, a life-long Catholic, and I find casual conversation of God and Jesus to be distasteful. Brooke, in her novel, has no such qualms. This is a personal testimony of searching for and finding God’s grace, than in spite of all the Devil tries to do, God’s love is more powerful, and He will defeat the evil one. One must only have faith enough in Him to see the triumph.

Once I allowed myself to accept the book for what it was, was I able to begin to enjoy the story. It’s high drama, suspense, with more at stake than a person’s life. Truly, I felt fear and elation, and a peace when Maryanne chose to be born again. The author disabused me of my prejudices of the genre, that though it may not be for everybody, there are powerful stories to tell.

All in all, I decided to rate The Protected a full five out of five stars. It’s a very well-told story and I’m eager to see what else Brooke has in store for us. You can find the paperback version on Amazon or if you prefer an e-book, you can buy it directly from the publisher, Tate Publishing.

List of Book Reviews
Next review –  Ready Player One
Previous Review – The Dreamt Child