Short Story: In love with Bella

He knew it was pointless to check, but Guy couldn’t help himself. It seemed that all power to resist had been stripped from him, and all he could do was submit to an impulse that robbed him all hope of joy from his life.

Guy opened up his laptop, logged back into his Facebook, and searched for her. Bella was unlike all the other girls he had known in his life, all the girls that he ever dated. Not that those girls weren’t beautiful in their own way, but Bella was different, special in some undefinable way. She had a way of making him smile, of coaxing his better nature out of him. She also exposed the worst in him as well.

Her profile came up, and he sighed as he caressed her photo on the screen, wishing it was her face instead of the cold pixels in front of him. Guy wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips, to hold her against him, to feel her warmth against his skin. All he wanted was for Bella to love him as much as he loved her.

As if! She barely registered his existence, unless she needed something from him. Twenty years removed from the hell that consumed him in high school, and somehow she transported him back to those days. The same feelings on inadequacy, of being duped to do what ever she needed on the thin, unlikely chance that she might grace him with her presence.

He berated himself, of course, knowing that he had no chance in hell of securing even a lunch date. He wasn’t her type. She preferred tall and handsome men, athletic with an alpha personality. Guy was short and insecure, not ugly per se, but just not classically attractive. He was average to the point of being invisible.

“I love you,” he scoffed at the unhearing screen, lamenting his bad luck in having met her. No hope existed but he remained helplessly enthralled by her grace and her poise. He loved the way she smiled, and the way her eyes lit up when ever she saw him. Then again, she lit up when ever she got her way, and she knew how to make him do anything she needed.

Cursing his weakness, he closed his laptop as his cell phone rang. With a glance, he saw that Helena was calling, another one of his co-workers. “Hey,” he answered unenthusiastically. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” came the nervous response. “I was just wondering, you know if you’re not busy, if-you’d-like-to-join-us-at-the-movies,” Helena sped through the invite. “I mean, not like a date, really. Just some of us from work are going, and I thought maybe you’d like to come.”

“I don’t know,” Guy said as he rubbed his temple. “I’m kind of tired.”

“I understand,” Helena replied, trying not to sound disappointed. “Bella’s not going to be there, so I didn’t think you would go. I just hoped you’d come with me, well I mean us, any ways, but it’s cool. I – I guess I’ll see you at work?”

“Yeah, probably.” Guy set the phone down, not giving Helena another opportunity to say anything. She was cute in her own way, and probably a better match for him, but she was no Bella, and she probably wouldn’t give him the time of day. She deserved better than him anyhow.

A few minutes later his phone rang again. Praying that it wasn’t Helena again, he checked and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Bella’s name on the screen. “Hello?”

“Um, hey Guy!” Bella said in the overly cheery voice she used when she wanted something from him. “You busy tonight?”

“What? Me?” He laughed. “Nah. I’m just chilling at home. What you need?”

“I need a big favor.”

“Anything!”

“Mark from Electronics just called and asked me out at the last minute. I was hoping you could watch my son for a few hours. We’re just going to have a few drinks, maybe grab a bite to eat. We shouldn’t be out too late. I have to work in the morning.”

“Oh, I suppose,” he agreed, the small bubble of hope that had risen in his chest bursting. He chided himself for even entertaining the illusion that she had called for anything more than that.

“You’re a doll! I’ll drop him off in about an hour. I totally owe you. I haven’t forgotten that we’re supposed to grab drinks after work. You did ask and I said yes. Remember?”

“Oh, I remember. Last fucking year,” he added quietly. Bella got off the phone, leaving him to feel more like floor mat than a man. If only he had taken Helena’s offer to go to he movie, but no. It didn’t matter anyway. Bella owned him and they both knew it. He cursed himself for being a pushover but what could he do? He was in love.


Short Stories

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Yeah, I call (expletive deleted)

English: rose bunch, Rosa sp. cultivars, flowe...

English: rose bunch, (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I must confess to you that I am in love. I have finally found a woman who has piqued my interest. The way she looks, the way she moves, the way she is fascinates me in such a profound manner. To tell you the truth, I never believed I would feel this way again

But first a bit of an admission. I’ve been through this before so I know I’m not really in love. What I am is infatuated, hopelessly and secretly infatuated with her. There’s no point in actually committing myself to this, neither by telling her nor by writing about it, but I like to write, and this is something to write about it.

And so here we are.

So why her and why the infatuation?  I’m glad you asked! To make this easier, I will enumerate my reasons for you. I could do a graph, but I don’t know who and I’m too lazy to learn.

  1. Let’s start physical. She’s tall. Taller than me. At least two to three inches taller than me, and that’s kinda hot. 
  2. She’s thin, graceful, almost like a dancer, a ballerina perhaps. A lithe beauty that glides with purpose and ease.
  3. She beautiful. Her features are a bit angular, but there’s a studiousness there that’s hypnotic. Complete the picture with a pair of glasses that she wears and presto! a sexy librarian with a hint of the vixen in her smoldering eyes. (Note: I haven’t really seen her eyes “smolder”. Just being overly descriptive.)
  4. She’s intelligent. She reads, she writes, she’s speaks in complete sentences that actually makes sense. She’s someone with whom I know I can have carry a conversation and have it be about something.
  5. She’s actually real in a tangible way. What I mean is that she’s someone I know, and not some fantasy out of…, well…, let’s move on.

What I figured out is why I’m attracted to her, I mean other than the obvious reasons that I stated above. They do play into it, however. She’s completely unlike the woman I married, and later divorced. She’s the anti-ex, if you will. I don’t mean to sound as though I’m bashing anyone, but, if I do? Oh well!

So why not give it a try? There are several reasons, some which I will not divulge, but I’ll give you a few. One, right now it’s all about me. I’m working on me, improving me, for my own sake. I have no time to waste on others. Until I feel as though I have gotten to a point where I am comfortable about where I am and who I am, I don’t need to waste neither my time nor her’s.

I don’t want to stick around here. I’m hoping to move back to where I feel comfortable, and it’s not here. Why get involved with someone for merely a brief fling? I’m not that kind of guy. I’m the kind of sincere guy girls lie about wanting. Lying bitches.

I’m not entirely sure I even want to waste my time with another woman. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if there’s a decent woman around anymore. It seems to me that the women that seem to interest me are only interested in the jackasses they spend all their time complaining about. I’m too old for that shit. I don’t want to be punished because some other guy treated her badly. I don’t want to be someone’s second/last choice. If I’m not good enough to be your first choice you’re not worth my time

Sorry, sorry. Kinda went off a bit. I have some issues.

I don’t want want to go out with someone just because they are the complete opposite of someone else. That’s not fair. I should want to go out with someone because I’m interested in them for them, not out of a sense of karmic vindictiveness. I’m pretty sure if i did it would end badly. For me. Again.

My last reason? Oh she’s totally out of my league. No seriously, there’s no way I could ever have a chance with her. This isn’t modesty or me being pessimistic, just realistic. Maybe once I settle down I’ll find someone I can actually have a real connection. It just ain’t this woman. Trust me, if you knew who, you’d be like, “Yeah, you have no chance buddy. Here have a…” Let’s move on again, shall we?

This being said, if the opportunity came up to date this woman, would I consider it? Um…yeah! Why wouldn’t I? (See list above.) But in all seriousness, I got to get me in order. Maybe when I turn 50 I’ll be ready, but with my luck I wouldn’t count on it.