Tag Archives: writing

No NaNo for me

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It’s July 1st, and another Camp NaNoWriMo has begun, without me. I know you are all so disappointed. Okay, I doubt anyone cares. I know I don’t. As militant as I have been in the past about NaNoWriMo, I just haven’t been able to muster any level of enthusiasm for Camp NaNo. Oh, I’ve tried to participate several times, but I seem to lose steam and interest. I just don’t feel as passionate about it as I do the main event in November.

I think part of the reason stems from the amount of time and energy it takes to sit and write. I spend 10 hours a week driving to and from work. I’m so exhausted after a long day, and I’m usually bombarded with other things that distract me from sitting down and writing. I miss having time to myself to write. I want to sit and write, without distraction, without anybody disturbing me, needing me to do something, anything for them. I need my own place, closer to work would be preferable.

Until then, I’ll make do. I wonder if I should give up the idea of publishing and simply write for the enjoyment. I don’t know if that would make me happy. I want to be read, even if only by a small audience. Nope, I need to write with publishing as my goal. I’ve been so inconsistent with my goal that it may take a small miracle to actually get it done.

When I first started writing, back at the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012, I had a fire smoldering within me, a desire to prove that I had some inherent worth. I needed to write as an act of revenge. Now, I don’t have that motivation. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, but I do want to prove to myself that I can do it.

While I may not be participating in Camp NaNo, I’m still quietly working away at my own leisure. I’m having to make peace with the idea that I may never put myself out there, but the dream still lingers, and as long as it does, maybe I’ll find a way to cross that finish line.

Another plan bites the dust

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I had it all planned out. Today was my day off, and I was going to sit and write. I’m almost at the end of my book, and I had hoped to be done today, or at least almost done. Instead I washed dishes and started to deep clean the kitchen. It’s amazing how dirty a kitchen can get!

It wasn’t a matter of procrastination, at least this time. The cleaning needed to be done. I got done. I feel so much better now that I got it out-of-the-way. Then I started on the windows, putting in the framing around the windows we installed but never finished. Got too much going on. I hope to finish that project after work tomorrow and start staining the frame and putting several coats of urethane.

As for my book, rewriting a story line wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. On the one hand, it’s difficult because it entails reimagining the plot to get me to where I want to go, but on the other, I already have an idea of how I would like to write the closing scene. I just need to sit down and write it. I believe that the changes will make for a stronger story.

I’ll write a better update later. I just wanted to check in before bed. I’ve been neglecting my blog lately. I need to do better.

I think I’m rambling again

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My best friend has been asking me if I have started listening to the audio copy of Ernest Cline’s novel, Ready Player One. I have had to admit to her several times that I haven’t. I just cant’ make myself listen to it, despite the fact that I spend two hours commuting to and from work everyday. Nope. Can’t do it.

Part of the problem stems from the fact that I’m a horrible listener. I have trouble understanding what’s going on if I don’t’ actually read the words for myself. I have the same trouble with music and songs. I have to actually read the lyrics to have any idea about what’s going on. It’s just the way I am.

So, very reluctantly, I’m having to buy the book, and it’ll have to be a hardback because that’s what I like. I have a few paperbacks, but I prefer the feel of a hardback. It’s nothing personal. It’s purely an aesthetic choice on my part. I just haven’t made it to the book store, yet. I hope to make it this week.

But speaking of books I need to read, the head of a writer’s group I’m in is releasing her second book soon. I want to be supportive, and I bought a Kindle copy, but I haven’t read it. My Kindle went kaput after I dropped it for the umpteenth time. That’s okay, because again, I want an actual copy in may hands. I just can’t seem to warm up to e-books. In this case, it’ll have to be a paperback, since that’s all that’s available.

I want to support self-published authors. I really do, but I’ll admit that I’m not really being selfless in my support. I want to build some good karma should I ever actually publish something. A co-worker said that I probably would never do so since I would never be able to let my book go. Maybe they’re right, but that’s no reason not to read a self-published novel.

I’ve read several that I enjoyed during my time as a book reviewer. There are several talented authors who have chosen to publish themselves rather than to seek the traditional route. What amazes me is the sheer number of people writing and publishing their own works. It’s mindboggling!

I would like to join the swelling throng of writers. Until then, I will gladly be one of many who supports them. It’s not too much to hope that one of the writers I support will be picked up by a traditional publisher, and they themselves become a successful author. Would that it could be me!

I’m aware that I’m rambling. I should probably go to sleep. I have a lot of books to read, and I think I should get to it. I just need to finish my own work, which feels like it’ll never happen.

P.S. I promise to read Ready Player One, Amy. It’s on my list!

Conversations and dialogue

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I have a habit of posting conversations I have had throughout the day on my Facebook wall. I don’t know why I do this, but if I were to hazard a guess, I would say it has to be because I like to laugh. What I share are tidbits I found amusing, usually no more than I few lines, that tend to end with a silly little punchline. I don’t know if anyone else finds them funny, but I write them for myself and I find them hysterical.

Take yesterday’s heart-stopping installment:

I had a co-worker tell me that she didn’t have any friends. Being the nice guy that I am, I told her I’d be her friend. Then being the guy that I am, I asked her if it was a paying position. She just laughed. I’m guessing no.

Or this one from a few weeks ago:

In today’s installment of My Job
Me: (As I complete putting in an order) Skadoosh!
Coworker: You say that too! You’re my new best friend.
Me: Sorry, I already have a best friend, but I’ll keep you in mind in case I piss mine off.
Coworker: (laughs)

There seems to be no real substantive reason for writing it, either than to amuse myself, but I can’t help wonder if there may be a hidden payoff.

I write a lot of dialogue in my works. The dynamics the two people have fascinates me. Inner monologue bores me, but a conversation between two or more people engages my imagination. Conversations are conduits to discovery for the readers and for the characters engaged in the conversation. I see the scene in my head, much like a movie, and dialogue is essential to moving the story forward.

The trouble I have with my writing, and it’s one that those who have read my works have commented on, is that my dialogue tends to be stilted. When I’m rereading a scene, I have to agree. I write how I would like to speak, not the way people actually speak. I use a vocabulary that’s a bit beyond what we use in our daily life, and I’m fine with that. I want to elevate the way we speak, not dumb it down. There’s an element of wish-fulfillment in that I am a horrible verbal communicator. I wish I could speak as well as I write. I hope I write as well as I think I do. I just have to learn how to write it a bit more conversationally.

So I actively listen to how people talk. What are they saying? How are they phrasing it? Can I adequately replicate their style of speech, their inflections and such? Am I over-thinking it? Can someone help me!

Maybe sharing the conversations I find funny will help me learn how to better write dialogue, but maybe not. Maybe it doesn’t matter. In the end, I think I just like reliving what made me laugh in the first place. Whether or not you or anyone else finds it funny doesn’t really matter. Except it does. I really want to be a more effective writer.

Thoughts at work

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I’m stuck at work, my mind lost in thoughts of plot machinations, character development, and how to improve my novel. It’s almost at a place where it needs to be. I just wish I were in front of my laptop instead of at work.